


Would I Let You Down

by masterroadtripper



Series: Best We Can [2]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Period-Typical Homophobia, The rooftop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21586138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterroadtripper/pseuds/masterroadtripper
Summary: Charlie is worried that Jack is going to leave him behind again.  Jack shows Charlie why he's never going to leave him.
Relationships: Crutchie/Jack Kelly
Series: Best We Can [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555765
Comments: 1
Kudos: 59





	Would I Let You Down

“Were youse really goin’ leave for Santa Fe?” Jack heard Charlie ask into the night. The sun had set hours ago and he had assumed - obviously incorrectly - that Charlie had fallen asleep. He must be exhausted though, his time at the Refuge was likely less than comfortable.

Jack was awake - of course. He hadn’t been able to get to sleep, his brain refusing to stop turning around inside his skull. Jack felt the little crack in his heart get bigger. The tone of voice in Charlie’s weak question, as if he really didn’t know the answer. He sounded terrified. He had every right to be terrified.

“No. Charlie, I would never leave youse and the guys,” Jack said, sitting up from the thin mattress he’d dragged up onto the roof at the beginning of the summer. In the light from the factories nearby, he could see Charlie laying on his own mattress, a couple of feet away, curled into a ball and facing away from Jack.

“You sounded pretty sure earlier,” Charlie said and Jack could hear his voice becoming tiny. Jack knew that Charlie didn’t like others to know he was hurting or upset, but as he crawled across the rooftop to get closer to the younger boy, he could see his shoulders shaking.

“I’m so sorry Charlie,” Jack said, sitting cross-legged just behind him, “Charlie look at me.”

When Charlie finally rolled over, Jack could see the bruises on his face and streaked lines across his cheeks. He had to refrain from gasping at the sight. The black eye looked so much worse in this light and suddenly, Jack wondered just how horribly Charlie had been treated at the Refuge.

Guilt settled like a rock in his chest. He’d run away from the one person on the planet that needed his protection. He’d broken all the carefully built trust by making a single split-second decision to protect himself.

“I promise I’ll never leave you again,” Jack said, looking into the huge grey eyes below him.

“But what if you do?” Charlie said, his voice wavering.

“I promise,” Jack said. Then he leaned over and kissed him.

Jack didn’t know why he did it.

Or, he kinda did. He felt like they had simply been circling this moment for ages. All the lingering touches over the years. The times where Charlie leaned into his arm when he later admitted he hadn’t felt tired. They were able to get away with so much because of Charlie. All the other guys just assumed he was tired. They slept on the roof together and while Charlie was never comfortable enough to change in front of Jack, he’d changed in front of Charlie. And felt his wandering eyes across his body the entire time.

But they’d never once talked about it. They’d never mentioned the increasing tension between the two of them and none of the boys had ever made a comment that had forced them to question whatever the heck was going on between them. Jack knew he liked Charlie the exact same way he liked the girls he’d briefly dated. But, really, this was different. Because as much as he thought he liked those girls, he had eventually realized that it was just a substitution for the one person in his life that he thought he could never have. Eventually, he just stopped, because it wasn’t fair to the girls. Wasn’t fair to anyone.

Now he’d kissed Charlie out of the blue with no knowledge of what was actually going through his head. For all he knew, he’d been imagining everything and now he was going to have to leave.

“Why’d youse do that?” Charlie asked once Jack pulled away rather quickly.

“Because that's why Imma never leaves you,” Jack replied, scooching away from Charlie. He’d obviously disgusted the younger boy. Soon, he’d have to resign himself to the fact that Charlie would likely never want to see him again.

“So you...like me?” Charlie asked, though, to his credit, he didn’t roll away get up. He stayed on his back, eyes fixed to Jack’s.

“Yes,” Jack said quietly, admitting the feelings out loud for the first time. It both felt like the best and the worst thing he’d ever done in his life. He could go to jail - real jail - this time if anyone found out.

Then Charlie started laughing. Jack didn’t understand why he was laughing at an obviously very critical moment such as this. Maybe he was laughing at Jack. He didn’t like that thought.

“Why youse laughin’?” Jack muttered. He sat up further, moved a little back.

“Because…,” Charlie said, his laughing abruptly stopping, “I fink I likes youse too.”

Jack gulped back the fear that he felt clawing at his throat. He’d never once questioned why Charlie had never added to any of the boy’s conversations about the pretty girls they’d managed to sell a paper to or why he’d never talked about how he thought anyone else was pretty. He just assumed Charlie was too shy or nervous to talk about that kind of thing in front of the rest of the guys.

“You do?” Jack asked. He really wanted to make sure Charlie wasn’t just pulling his leg. Charlie did like to joke around a lot and, while this was not an appropriate time to be messing around, he wouldn’t be surprised if Charlie was doing it to hide any discomfort.

“Yeah Jack, I do,” Charlie whispered back into the darkness of their roof penthouse.

“Can I kiss youse ‘gain?” Jack asked and when Charlie nodded, he leaned in and kissed the younger boy. It felt soft and sweet. Better than any girl he’d ever kissed and it was so uniquely Charlie. When the younger boy smiled between them, his crooked smile drew his mouth off-center and Jack chased it.

Soon, they were laughing - both of them this time - as Jack rolled down onto his shoulder and laid on the thin mattress he’d dragged up onto the roof for Charlie.

“I’m glad youse like me,” Charlie whispered into the darkness. Jack propped himself up on an elbow, and while he really couldn’t see him, he reached out and put his hand on Charlie for comfort. He thought he managed to catch the younger boy’s opposite pectoral and the muscle jumped a little under his hand.

“I’m glad I didna scare youse off,” Jack replied.

“Now what,” Charlie asked, “What youse gonna do ‘bout Katherine. She’s a nice dame and all.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it Charlie,” Jack replied, “We’s already talked ‘bout it. She knows I likes you and shes okay wif that.”

“You told her ‘bout ‘ow youse feels ‘bout me?” Charlie said, his voice sounding unbelieving as if he wouldn’t even consider the notion.

“When youse was locked up, she noticed ‘ow sad I gots. Bought me beer and asked me ‘bout it,” Jack explained, “said it was the ‘perfect arrangement, Jack Kelly”.”

“Glad she knows,” Charlie replied with a giggle, likely in response to his absurd posh accent he threw in for good luck. He hadn’t thought to ask Katherine why this arrangement was so perfect, but he figured that if she wanted to tell him something, she would.

They laid in silence for a little longer, Charlie bringing his hand up to hold onto Jack’s and the older boy smiling down at him in the polluted light off the city that never sleeps.

“Jack,” Charlie started again, “can I ask youse a question?”

“Sure,” Jack replied. Though he was completely unsure of what Charlie wanted to ask him, he wanted to sleep, so he’d answer it as quickly as possible.

“Youse ever…been wif a guy before?” Charlie asked, his voice getting small again. Now, Jack wasn’t entirely sure how to answer the question. He bet Charlie knew, on some base level, about what had happened at the Refuge. How was he going to be able to share that without Charlie feeling bad for him?

“Kinda…,” Jack started, closing his eyes as the memories flooded through his head. Choking. Hurting. Feeling like he was going to be torn apart from the inside out. How could he summarize the worst six months of his life into one statement?

“At the Refuge, ya?” Charlie said, “Youse neva said nothin’ ‘bout it but one of the guards asks me. He asks, “hows ‘pretty boy’ Jack Kelly doin?” Dunno ‘ow he knew to ask me, but youse saids that before in youse sleep.”

Jack realized it a little too late, but he was starting to cry. What a pair, the two of them. Crying in the middle of the night on the roof.

Charlie gasped, “Jack, I’m sorry, I dinna mean to make youse cry, I swear.”

“I know Charlie,” he replied through sniffles, “can we jus’ not talk about it?”

“Yah, okay,” Charlie replied, rolling a little to tuck into Jack’s side, “lets jus’ sleep. Wes can talk more tomorra. Youse gonna follow me anyways.”

“Damn right I will Charlie,” Jack said, leaning over a pressing a kiss to Charlie’s nose, "Always."


End file.
